is there a mysterious factory somewhere? some kind of hidden city in the middle of nowhere? just how does it happen that seemingly normal education majors somehow become incompetent teachers?
here's what i think.
it's called UNIVERSITY. (unifying non-ideal values entering real students in training yes) or something like that.
basically, every teacher is invited to attend. and they get paid to go. the more classes you take, the more often, the more money in your pocket. they have all sorts of classes and more are added everyday, so a teacher could attend throughout her career and never run out of options.
here's a list of some of the classes available.
TCH101: intro to powerpoint
the basics on how to create powerpoints with more text than is necessary for the test, but just enough to make every student stress about every word. you will also learn how to create bulleted points that are guaranteed to only make sense 40% of the time.
TCH102: intro to lecturing
an introduction to the art of useless lectures. focus on the 3 cardinal rules of public speaking: making the audience think they need to listen, using key phrases to scare non-listening audience members into thinking they missed something, and using cliff-hangers in order to ensure attendance to the next class.
TCH103: classroom fashion
how to dress for success. a teacher's guide to avoiding fashion trends. this class helps teachers stay unified in their lack of fashion savvy.
TCH 104: rhetoric
how to communicate ineffectively with students. focus on answering questions with more questions, answering specific questions vaguely, making simple ideas sound complicated, and making 20 minutes of content turn into a 2 hour class.
of course, there are some exceptions. there are some good teachers that don't waste their time here, they don't care enough about money and are basically good people. but these are few and far between. all of you good teachers out there, i applaude you. the rest of you, however, shame on you.
love, krystal.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
i want mail.
so i'm watching you've got mail with the roommates and i'm thinking to myself, why don't i have a mysterious email/pen pal? it's not as improbable as you might think. and it's not like i would plan to meet said pal and fall in love or whatever...i just think it would be super fun to be able to talk to a person whom i believe to be completely separate from the rest of my life. i mean, he COULD be a good aquaintance, even a friend, but as long as i don't know that, it's all the same. of course...we'd have to be quite compatible in our ideas and thoughts in order to not get bored with each other, etc. but i digress.
the idea i'm trying to get at is this dream of having a confidant. a person i could say anything to, and whether or not he agreed or even cared, i'd have total freedom. he wouldn't even know what i looked like....how great is that? and he'd be able to give me advice or at least some kind of reaction that i wouldn't have to worry about but that i would look forward to.
i'm also not saying that i don't trust my friends. i really do...and i tell them tons of things. but sometimes i want a guy's perspective, and in my life, no such guy exists...yet.
i realize that my argument sounds childish. and i agree that it is. but that's what movies do to my brain. you'd think that i would have learned my lesson by now, but i guess not.
love, krystal.
the idea i'm trying to get at is this dream of having a confidant. a person i could say anything to, and whether or not he agreed or even cared, i'd have total freedom. he wouldn't even know what i looked like....how great is that? and he'd be able to give me advice or at least some kind of reaction that i wouldn't have to worry about but that i would look forward to.
i'm also not saying that i don't trust my friends. i really do...and i tell them tons of things. but sometimes i want a guy's perspective, and in my life, no such guy exists...yet.
i realize that my argument sounds childish. and i agree that it is. but that's what movies do to my brain. you'd think that i would have learned my lesson by now, but i guess not.
love, krystal.
Friday, January 23, 2009
bad memories
sometimes i do things that i really regret. it's a horrible feeling...looking back and recognizing that your decisions were flawed, or your attitude was crappy.
do you know what i wish i could do with those moments?...
hang them upside down from telephone poles and let ugly pigeons land on them and peck at them until they DIE.
but then i would still remember them.
love, krystal
do you know what i wish i could do with those moments?...
hang them upside down from telephone poles and let ugly pigeons land on them and peck at them until they DIE.
but then i would still remember them.
love, krystal
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
alabanza
it's january 2o, 2009, and i don't want to talk about the inauguration.
it's really easy to get caught up in politics. but whether you're really excited about obama, or you're worried for the future of america, it ultimately doesn't matter.
the way i see it, nothing has changed.
my God is still God of the heavens and the earth, my life still has just one purpose. to give glory to the God who saw this day and every other day before the earth was formed.
and so i say, praise God.
love, krystal.
"Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 43:5b
it's really easy to get caught up in politics. but whether you're really excited about obama, or you're worried for the future of america, it ultimately doesn't matter.
the way i see it, nothing has changed.
my God is still God of the heavens and the earth, my life still has just one purpose. to give glory to the God who saw this day and every other day before the earth was formed.
and so i say, praise God.
love, krystal.
"Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 43:5b
Thursday, January 8, 2009
love. l'amour. el amor. sevgi. liebe.
i was in lying in bed last night, and i began to think about my love languages. my thoughts were triggered by my little cousin, who, at that moment, was basically strangling me as she lay fast asleep. and it didn't bother me.
i know, people talk about love languages a lot, and i've been asked for the list as well as requested the list plenty of times, and yet i've never felt that i've been able to explain my answers. and what better place to babble than here?
so...in order of decreasing importance, here they are: (as a reminder, these are the same for guys and girls...just making sure that was clear :) )
1. physical touch
i really don't know why this is number one. all i know is that i love hugs, and that there can never be enough people on the couch.
2. quality time
i love spending extended time with people. we don't even have to be talking or anything. i just like that you would rather be in the same room with me than any other place. and vice versa.
of course...it's always fun to do an activity together...like cooking or exercising or watching a movie.
3. gift giving/receiving
i know it seems kind of superficial, but this language has nothing to do with money. at least not the way i interpret it. let's say you love to read, i'll get you a 50 cent bookmark with quotes or verses, etc. you know, personalized. in the same way, it really shows me that you love me if you spend time figuring out what i would like and making it/buying it. warning: i actually kinda hate expensive gifts...they tell me that you think i'm superficial. and i would never give you something expensive...i'm as poor as heck.
4. acts of service
as much as i appreciate it when you do my laundry (mom) or maybe wash my car, i don't know if i would consider it love. maybe it's because that's not the first thing i would think to do for someone that i loved. honestly, i do those things when i feel that i owe you something, and i feel the same way when you do them for me.
5. words of affirmation
i have a really hard time telling you how i feel about you. whether you're an amazing friend or maybe you have a great talent...you'd never know it if all you had to judge by were my words. i can't even tell my mom or dad that i love them...i just sit there for a couple of excruciating seconds of silence as my mind reels with the words that it won't spit out.
in the same way, words are hard for me to receive. compliments are nice, but my brain refuses to take them in. most of the time, i find them hard to believe. by all means...keep dishing them out...they're not completely unheard...i just hope that's not the only way you hope to show your love for me...cuz i won't get it.
love, krystal
i know, people talk about love languages a lot, and i've been asked for the list as well as requested the list plenty of times, and yet i've never felt that i've been able to explain my answers. and what better place to babble than here?
so...in order of decreasing importance, here they are: (as a reminder, these are the same for guys and girls...just making sure that was clear :) )
1. physical touch
i really don't know why this is number one. all i know is that i love hugs, and that there can never be enough people on the couch.
2. quality time
i love spending extended time with people. we don't even have to be talking or anything. i just like that you would rather be in the same room with me than any other place. and vice versa.
of course...it's always fun to do an activity together...like cooking or exercising or watching a movie.
3. gift giving/receiving
i know it seems kind of superficial, but this language has nothing to do with money. at least not the way i interpret it. let's say you love to read, i'll get you a 50 cent bookmark with quotes or verses, etc. you know, personalized. in the same way, it really shows me that you love me if you spend time figuring out what i would like and making it/buying it. warning: i actually kinda hate expensive gifts...they tell me that you think i'm superficial. and i would never give you something expensive...i'm as poor as heck.
4. acts of service
as much as i appreciate it when you do my laundry (mom) or maybe wash my car, i don't know if i would consider it love. maybe it's because that's not the first thing i would think to do for someone that i loved. honestly, i do those things when i feel that i owe you something, and i feel the same way when you do them for me.
5. words of affirmation
i have a really hard time telling you how i feel about you. whether you're an amazing friend or maybe you have a great talent...you'd never know it if all you had to judge by were my words. i can't even tell my mom or dad that i love them...i just sit there for a couple of excruciating seconds of silence as my mind reels with the words that it won't spit out.
in the same way, words are hard for me to receive. compliments are nice, but my brain refuses to take them in. most of the time, i find them hard to believe. by all means...keep dishing them out...they're not completely unheard...i just hope that's not the only way you hope to show your love for me...cuz i won't get it.
love, krystal
Sunday, January 4, 2009
it is so.
amen. dictionary.com defines it as "so be it".
i always thought it was a funny word.
i guess that sounds kinda wrong...cuz it's in the bible and all.
anyway.
i was at church the other day--which is awkward in itself cuz i don't really have a home church here in CA anymore and i hate feeling unknown--and the pastor was talking about the economy and politics and stuff. it was a segue or whatever, but that's not the point. so the pastor is talking about the national debt and the bailouts, etc, and he says something along the lines of "the government is addicted to spending!". okay. then, about half a second later, some man sitting behind me seems to have gotten riled up by the statement and shouts, "AMEN!"
hmmm.
i understand that the man used the word properly. he agreed with the statement and responded accordingly. however i feel that, of all of the things to agree with in church, government spending is not even in the top 100.
maybe it's because i myself have never responded in such a way. even when half the congregation is shouting amen, the word still feels strange in my mouth, let alone coming out of it.
in fact, here's a list of words/phrases i would rather use...
1. i agree
2. you're right
3. it is so
4. uhuh
5. true
6. yes!
7. hallelujah
8. huh, ironic
9. touche
10. clown
and basically any other 1-3 word combination.
love, krystal
i always thought it was a funny word.
i guess that sounds kinda wrong...cuz it's in the bible and all.
anyway.
i was at church the other day--which is awkward in itself cuz i don't really have a home church here in CA anymore and i hate feeling unknown--and the pastor was talking about the economy and politics and stuff. it was a segue or whatever, but that's not the point. so the pastor is talking about the national debt and the bailouts, etc, and he says something along the lines of "the government is addicted to spending!". okay. then, about half a second later, some man sitting behind me seems to have gotten riled up by the statement and shouts, "AMEN!"
hmmm.
i understand that the man used the word properly. he agreed with the statement and responded accordingly. however i feel that, of all of the things to agree with in church, government spending is not even in the top 100.
maybe it's because i myself have never responded in such a way. even when half the congregation is shouting amen, the word still feels strange in my mouth, let alone coming out of it.
in fact, here's a list of words/phrases i would rather use...
1. i agree
2. you're right
3. it is so
4. uhuh
5. true
6. yes!
7. hallelujah
8. huh, ironic
9. touche
10. clown
and basically any other 1-3 word combination.
love, krystal
Saturday, December 27, 2008
julio.
julio's my dog. when i say he's my dog, i really mean that he lives at my parent's house. and he doesn't bite me.
today, i was sitting in the backyard, reading THE BOOK (if you know what i mean), and julio came up to me and started jumping into my lap. it was pretty annoying, he's pretty furry and he sheds a lot, and honestly, i was busy. but just a couple of minutes later i realized that in my life, i treat god a lot like i treat julio.
i realize that comparing the dog to god is pretty blasphemous, but stick with me here.
i like julio. i do. he's cute and he loves anyone who plays with him. but i don't ever go out of my way to be with him. in fact, today was the only the second time i had spent more than 5 minutes with him since i got here. and it's not like i haven't had time. i spend most of my day at home. and it's not like he disappears randomly---he never leaves. i just don't bother. but everytime i do, julio can't get enough of me. (i know, it's an awkward sentence). and i have a lot of fun too. it's as if i never rejected him. he's forgotten all the times i've screamed at him or pushed him off of me...he's even forgotten that i only see him twice a year. he loves me anyway. and he can't wait for me to just spend 10 minutes with him.
thanks, god. and sorry. again and again.
love, krystal
today, i was sitting in the backyard, reading THE BOOK (if you know what i mean), and julio came up to me and started jumping into my lap. it was pretty annoying, he's pretty furry and he sheds a lot, and honestly, i was busy. but just a couple of minutes later i realized that in my life, i treat god a lot like i treat julio.
i realize that comparing the dog to god is pretty blasphemous, but stick with me here.
i like julio. i do. he's cute and he loves anyone who plays with him. but i don't ever go out of my way to be with him. in fact, today was the only the second time i had spent more than 5 minutes with him since i got here. and it's not like i haven't had time. i spend most of my day at home. and it's not like he disappears randomly---he never leaves. i just don't bother. but everytime i do, julio can't get enough of me. (i know, it's an awkward sentence). and i have a lot of fun too. it's as if i never rejected him. he's forgotten all the times i've screamed at him or pushed him off of me...he's even forgotten that i only see him twice a year. he loves me anyway. and he can't wait for me to just spend 10 minutes with him.
thanks, god. and sorry. again and again.
love, krystal
Thursday, December 25, 2008
shuffle.
i got an ipod for christmas this year. well, it's an ipod nano and according to my brother, it shuffles the songs when you physically shake it. sounds pretty cool. also sounds way too high tech . it kinda freaks me out, actually. although, there would be a lot of things that could come in handy if they did cool stuff when you shook them...
1. my brother. let's say he's talking too much or is in an iffy mood...give him a little shake and ouila, he's happy, or at least quiet. perfect.
2. my watch. just shake it a bit and i have 10 extra minutes to sleep. of course, then i would run the risk of it taking away 10 minutes, but that's a risk i'd be willing to take.
3. my credit card. free money.
4. my favorite heels. a different color everytime.
5. my face....well, i guess it's self-explanatory by now.
love, krystal.
p.s. my ipod's really cool. i
think you should be jealous.
1. my brother. let's say he's talking too much or is in an iffy mood...give him a little shake and ouila, he's happy, or at least quiet. perfect.
2. my watch. just shake it a bit and i have 10 extra minutes to sleep. of course, then i would run the risk of it taking away 10 minutes, but that's a risk i'd be willing to take.
3. my credit card. free money.
4. my favorite heels. a different color everytime.
5. my face....well, i guess it's self-explanatory by now.
love, krystal.
p.s. my ipod's really cool. i
think you should be jealous.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
i played with barbies today.
that's right, you heard me. in my defense, it was at the request of my 3 yr. old cousin.
it surprised me how mature she was for her age. at one point, she pointed out chad, who was engaged to a blond (let's call her stacey). She knew stacey was engaged because she had a ring on her wedding finger. she even knew the term "fiance". i was very impressed.
the more astonishing part was the story playing out in her mind. she was sitting right next to me, but the dialogue was voiced to an audience of one...plus the dolls involved. however, i heard snippets of the conversation as she used a low voice for chad and a girly voice for stacey. as i listened i thought for sure i was not understanding, so i asked her to tell me what was going on. and here's the story she gave me:
stacey and chad are engaged, but their friend quit and doesn't want to have the wedding at her house so now they don't know what to do. (i then told her to just ask another friend to host the wedding, a suggestion she felt was appropriate...she continued) i just asked stacey and she decided that she wants to quit the wedding with chad so they're not getting married anymore. chad then talks to his mom who says he should find another girlfriend. chad finds ariel and tells her she's pretty, which will lead to a date, which will lead to ariel being chad's new girlfriend.
the girl is three. but already, she knows more about marriage and relationships than i knew in the 5th grade. and this leads me to the list for today:
facts about relationships- from the mind of a 3 yr old...
1. if a boy asks you on a date, that means he wants to be and will become your boyfriend.
2. a boy will only like you if you are pretty.
3. every boy gets all his advice from his mother.
4. friends are flaky.
5. it's not very difficult to just "get over it".
thanks, i really needed that.
love, krystal.
that's right, you heard me. in my defense, it was at the request of my 3 yr. old cousin.
it surprised me how mature she was for her age. at one point, she pointed out chad, who was engaged to a blond (let's call her stacey). She knew stacey was engaged because she had a ring on her wedding finger. she even knew the term "fiance". i was very impressed.
the more astonishing part was the story playing out in her mind. she was sitting right next to me, but the dialogue was voiced to an audience of one...plus the dolls involved. however, i heard snippets of the conversation as she used a low voice for chad and a girly voice for stacey. as i listened i thought for sure i was not understanding, so i asked her to tell me what was going on. and here's the story she gave me:
stacey and chad are engaged, but their friend quit and doesn't want to have the wedding at her house so now they don't know what to do. (i then told her to just ask another friend to host the wedding, a suggestion she felt was appropriate...she continued) i just asked stacey and she decided that she wants to quit the wedding with chad so they're not getting married anymore. chad then talks to his mom who says he should find another girlfriend. chad finds ariel and tells her she's pretty, which will lead to a date, which will lead to ariel being chad's new girlfriend.
the girl is three. but already, she knows more about marriage and relationships than i knew in the 5th grade. and this leads me to the list for today:
facts about relationships- from the mind of a 3 yr old...
1. if a boy asks you on a date, that means he wants to be and will become your boyfriend.
2. a boy will only like you if you are pretty.
3. every boy gets all his advice from his mother.
4. friends are flaky.
5. it's not very difficult to just "get over it".
thanks, i really needed that.
love, krystal.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
i'm writing now as i watch a legendary show: iron chef.
for those of you who don't know what this show entails, let me explain.
there are 2 chefs. one is always some famous challenger from europe or china or some other place with a long list of experience and expertise. this challenger then chooses from 1 of 3 iron chefs--more experienced chefs that work for the show and usually win the competition. this competition consists of a 60 minute showdown, where these two chefs battle to make several plates/entrees based on a main ingredient. in this particular show, the theme ingredient is piglet. anyway...after the 60 minutes are over, there is a panel of judges that decide which chef made the best combination of plates according to taste, presentation, and use of the main ingredient.
well, now you know....and honestly, you could have gone without reading the previous synopsis and survived just fine.
the iron chef, however, is not the reason i'm writing this post...although it is the inspiration. what i really want to address are reality shows.
i realize this can be a tiresome topic. i'm pretty sure i've heard just about everyone's opinion about said reality shows. "they're fake" "they're amazing" "i can't stand them" "i don't really care". well, i don't really care either. what i DO care about is, what show would i least want to be on? (and isn't that the most important issue of all?)
1. project runway. ugh. drama drama drama. and really...if i could just "make it work", i wouldn't be having any trouble finishing my crappy design, would i?
2. the bachelor/bachelorette. really? how can you expect to find the love of your life from 25 men/women who are all basically the same person? there's only a small percentage of the population that would even think of being on a reality show, and guess what, mr bachelor? they're all in your living room, ready to "win your heart" and steal your money.
3. amazing race. why risk ruining a perfectly good friendship or family relationship just to run all over the world doing ridiculous tasks and inevitably finding myself in morally iffy situations? i'd much rather grab my "partner" and run around the neighborhood, growing closer with meaningful conversation and funny jokes. cuz i don't care who you are...i WILL be annoyed with you very soon after starting this supposedly "amazing" race.
4. every other reality show. as much as i like other people making fools of themselves...i would die if it was me on that tv instead.
love, krystal.
for those of you who don't know what this show entails, let me explain.
there are 2 chefs. one is always some famous challenger from europe or china or some other place with a long list of experience and expertise. this challenger then chooses from 1 of 3 iron chefs--more experienced chefs that work for the show and usually win the competition. this competition consists of a 60 minute showdown, where these two chefs battle to make several plates/entrees based on a main ingredient. in this particular show, the theme ingredient is piglet. anyway...after the 60 minutes are over, there is a panel of judges that decide which chef made the best combination of plates according to taste, presentation, and use of the main ingredient.
well, now you know....and honestly, you could have gone without reading the previous synopsis and survived just fine.
the iron chef, however, is not the reason i'm writing this post...although it is the inspiration. what i really want to address are reality shows.
i realize this can be a tiresome topic. i'm pretty sure i've heard just about everyone's opinion about said reality shows. "they're fake" "they're amazing" "i can't stand them" "i don't really care". well, i don't really care either. what i DO care about is, what show would i least want to be on? (and isn't that the most important issue of all?)
1. project runway. ugh. drama drama drama. and really...if i could just "make it work", i wouldn't be having any trouble finishing my crappy design, would i?
2. the bachelor/bachelorette. really? how can you expect to find the love of your life from 25 men/women who are all basically the same person? there's only a small percentage of the population that would even think of being on a reality show, and guess what, mr bachelor? they're all in your living room, ready to "win your heart" and steal your money.
3. amazing race. why risk ruining a perfectly good friendship or family relationship just to run all over the world doing ridiculous tasks and inevitably finding myself in morally iffy situations? i'd much rather grab my "partner" and run around the neighborhood, growing closer with meaningful conversation and funny jokes. cuz i don't care who you are...i WILL be annoyed with you very soon after starting this supposedly "amazing" race.
4. every other reality show. as much as i like other people making fools of themselves...i would die if it was me on that tv instead.
love, krystal.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
life on frearth
i cleaned the fridge today. it was a highly rewarding experience. although, if and when you decide to clean your own fridge, please know that it is not a small task...there are several things that need to be done.
there are leftovers to sort out. some that have been there since the creation of man, others just babies--in their first few hours.
there are food items to check. a cup of yogurt that's been expired for a month, or maybe a piece of cheese that no one realized existed. that is, until you discover that now, billions of particles of mold exist because of it.
there are spills to clean. little solidified puddles that you had told yourself you would clean 2 months ago, but never really intended to.
there's reorganization to be done, cuz you realize that you now have twice as much room and half the amount of food you used to think you had.
but the most important part of cleaning a fridge is imagining what you would be if you were an item in said fridge. having said this, i will now proceed to give you a list (wow, what a unique idea) of the top 3 items i would choose to be if i lived in a fridge.
1. MAYO. i know what you're thinking...gross, right? well. yes. it does sound pretty disgusting to want to be a large jar of fat. but you're thinking in human terms. cuz in frearth (the name i've designated for this fridge world), being the mayo is as good as it gets. first of all...you rarely spoil. 2nd...you last a long time because your owner (me) only uses you in small amounts for tuna or...tuna. 3rd...you live on the door, which means that every time the fridge door gets some action, so do you. hello, personal roller coaster. 4th...everyone knows that the mayo is one of the most intimidating items in frearth---only to be exceeded by the all powerful chipotle leftovers (but these only last about 1 day on average, so it's not really an issue).
2. MILK. although you rarely last very long, and expire very quickly, the short life you live is filled with excitement and love. you're like frearth's version of the latest fad. almost as soon as you hit the shelf, you're being emptied. you go from cereal bowl to coffee to mac 'n cheese to an oreo's sidekick to hot chocolate all in one day. no one can get enough of you. and then there's the glorious moment when you only have one more use in you and you get to witness the sadness in your owner's face at the sheer thought of running out. there's power in every last drop. your life has purpose, it's worth something.
3. CHIPOTLE LEFTOVERS. the mayo's afraid of you. enough said.
love, krystal
there are leftovers to sort out. some that have been there since the creation of man, others just babies--in their first few hours.
there are food items to check. a cup of yogurt that's been expired for a month, or maybe a piece of cheese that no one realized existed. that is, until you discover that now, billions of particles of mold exist because of it.
there are spills to clean. little solidified puddles that you had told yourself you would clean 2 months ago, but never really intended to.
there's reorganization to be done, cuz you realize that you now have twice as much room and half the amount of food you used to think you had.
but the most important part of cleaning a fridge is imagining what you would be if you were an item in said fridge. having said this, i will now proceed to give you a list (wow, what a unique idea) of the top 3 items i would choose to be if i lived in a fridge.
1. MAYO. i know what you're thinking...gross, right? well. yes. it does sound pretty disgusting to want to be a large jar of fat. but you're thinking in human terms. cuz in frearth (the name i've designated for this fridge world), being the mayo is as good as it gets. first of all...you rarely spoil. 2nd...you last a long time because your owner (me) only uses you in small amounts for tuna or...tuna. 3rd...you live on the door, which means that every time the fridge door gets some action, so do you. hello, personal roller coaster. 4th...everyone knows that the mayo is one of the most intimidating items in frearth---only to be exceeded by the all powerful chipotle leftovers (but these only last about 1 day on average, so it's not really an issue).
2. MILK. although you rarely last very long, and expire very quickly, the short life you live is filled with excitement and love. you're like frearth's version of the latest fad. almost as soon as you hit the shelf, you're being emptied. you go from cereal bowl to coffee to mac 'n cheese to an oreo's sidekick to hot chocolate all in one day. no one can get enough of you. and then there's the glorious moment when you only have one more use in you and you get to witness the sadness in your owner's face at the sheer thought of running out. there's power in every last drop. your life has purpose, it's worth something.
3. CHIPOTLE LEFTOVERS. the mayo's afraid of you. enough said.
love, krystal
Sunday, December 14, 2008
i don't usually like posting lyrics. i feel that it can get boring and, frankly, it's not really your own. but i'm listening to this song that never fails to touch me and convict me and i really wanted to share it. some of you may recognize it, it's written by garth bostic.
v.1
on a path that's been beaten but no one walks
i've been looking for some answers but no one talks
i've done things i wish i couldn't remember
my God i need You to carry me
c.
out of my prison and out of my chains
out of my burdens and into Your mercy
out of my worry and out of my pain
out of my fears and into Your mercy
out of my past and out of my shame
out of my mourning and into Your mercy
into Your mercy
v.2
i've got stains that nothing i try can get out
i've got hope but it's pulled by the weight of my doubt
but all my faults Your grace will never remember
my God i'm free and You carry me
b.
You're the only one who is worthy to forgive
You're the only one who takes my end and then begins
You're the only one who can set this hostage free
my God i believe and You carry me
what an amazing God that forgets my mistakes and guides me in His eternal freedom. despite my doubt, despite my vain anxiety, despite me.
love, krystal
v.1
on a path that's been beaten but no one walks
i've been looking for some answers but no one talks
i've done things i wish i couldn't remember
my God i need You to carry me
c.
out of my prison and out of my chains
out of my burdens and into Your mercy
out of my worry and out of my pain
out of my fears and into Your mercy
out of my past and out of my shame
out of my mourning and into Your mercy
into Your mercy
v.2
i've got stains that nothing i try can get out
i've got hope but it's pulled by the weight of my doubt
but all my faults Your grace will never remember
my God i'm free and You carry me
b.
You're the only one who is worthy to forgive
You're the only one who takes my end and then begins
You're the only one who can set this hostage free
my God i believe and You carry me
what an amazing God that forgets my mistakes and guides me in His eternal freedom. despite my doubt, despite my vain anxiety, despite me.
love, krystal
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
when harry met sally
i've always been convinced of the greatness of a movie i like to call "when harry met sally". but today, i was in the mood for some movie quotes and decided to look up this said movie, only to fall in love with it all over again. i just can't get over its brilliance....here, read some of the quotes...then maybe you can understand even a little bit of the love that i have for this spectacular film.
Harry: [after he has run into his ex-wife] She looked weird didn't she? She looked really weird.
Sally: I don't know, I've never seen her before.
Harry: Trust me, she looked weird. Her legs looked heavy. Really, she must retaining water.
Sally: Harry.
Harry: Believe me, the woman saved everything.
hahaha. she had pretibial edema!
__________________________________________________________________
[Unable to guess what Sally is trying to draw during a round of Pictionary]
Jess: Draw SOMETHING resembling ANYTHING.
this entire scene was absolutely hilarious...i practically pee in my pants everytime. now...if you're my roommate, then you might hate jess and think he's a jerk, but really, he's just competitive and is frustrated at not being able to recognize the picture on the pictionary board. and i don't think he's a jerk.
__________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: We're talking dream date compared to my horror. It started out fine, she's a very nice person, and we're sitting and we're talking at this Ethiopian restaurant that she wanted to go to. And I was making jokes, you know like, "Hey I didn't know that they had food in Ethiopia? This will be a quick meal. I'll order two empty plates and we can leave." Yeah, nothing from her not even a smile.
i thought it was funny. i would have laughed, harry, don't worry.
___________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
i'm definitely low maintenance. no question. :)
___________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: Why are you getting so upset? This is not about you.
you have, unfortunately, harry, discovered one of the mysteries of women (or maybe just about me and sally), everything is about us.
____________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe you're either (a) not at home, (b) home but don't want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c), please call me back.
i WILL use this quote someday. i promise.
___________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally Albright: What?
Harry Burns: I love you.
Sally Albright: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry Burns: How about, you love me too.
Sally Albright: How about, I'm leaving.
love. this. o harry, if only you were more attractive and closer to my age and in love with me instead.
__________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
see previous comment. (by the way, if anyone watches scrubs, this is the speech that carla's brother gave to turk for the engagement/rehearsal party...i forget which...HILARIOUS.)
__________________________________________________________________
Sally Albright: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you.
cute.
love, krystal
Harry: [after he has run into his ex-wife] She looked weird didn't she? She looked really weird.
Sally: I don't know, I've never seen her before.
Harry: Trust me, she looked weird. Her legs looked heavy. Really, she must retaining water.
Sally: Harry.
Harry: Believe me, the woman saved everything.
hahaha. she had pretibial edema!
__________________________________________________________________
[Unable to guess what Sally is trying to draw during a round of Pictionary]
Jess: Draw SOMETHING resembling ANYTHING.
this entire scene was absolutely hilarious...i practically pee in my pants everytime. now...if you're my roommate, then you might hate jess and think he's a jerk, but really, he's just competitive and is frustrated at not being able to recognize the picture on the pictionary board. and i don't think he's a jerk.
__________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: We're talking dream date compared to my horror. It started out fine, she's a very nice person, and we're sitting and we're talking at this Ethiopian restaurant that she wanted to go to. And I was making jokes, you know like, "Hey I didn't know that they had food in Ethiopia? This will be a quick meal. I'll order two empty plates and we can leave." Yeah, nothing from her not even a smile.
i thought it was funny. i would have laughed, harry, don't worry.
___________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
i'm definitely low maintenance. no question. :)
___________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: Why are you getting so upset? This is not about you.
you have, unfortunately, harry, discovered one of the mysteries of women (or maybe just about me and sally), everything is about us.
____________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe you're either (a) not at home, (b) home but don't want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c), please call me back.
i WILL use this quote someday. i promise.
___________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally Albright: What?
Harry Burns: I love you.
Sally Albright: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry Burns: How about, you love me too.
Sally Albright: How about, I'm leaving.
love. this. o harry, if only you were more attractive and closer to my age and in love with me instead.
__________________________________________________________________
Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
see previous comment. (by the way, if anyone watches scrubs, this is the speech that carla's brother gave to turk for the engagement/rehearsal party...i forget which...HILARIOUS.)
__________________________________________________________________
Sally Albright: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you.
cute.
love, krystal
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day...maybe.
i had a horrible experience today. in many ways, it was humbling, but mostly it was painful.
so i had a competency today---basically, i have to perform a health assessment in front of one of my nursing teachers. this health assessment consists of a long list of steps assessing various parts of the body and dictating as well as documenting a list of normal findings.
my goal for today was, and always has been, to memorize. memorize when to say what, and what to do when. it's pretty much all my brain can handle. so i did it. in fact, i would say that i was pretty confident going into the "exam"
we picked cards. i got to go first. great. i also got the part of the examination that i thought was the most difficult. great.
but it's fine, right...cuz i know what i'm doing.
that was, until the questions started. question after question of: what are you doing? why are you doing that? what would an abnormal result be indicitave of? why don't you know the answer?
finally, i couldn't speak. i couldn't answer her questions, i couldn't move, i couldn't think of what was next. my hands trembled from fear and anger and frustration and nervousness and bitterness and sadness. my eyes moistened, but i refused to let her see my tears.
everything i said she refuted. every word i uttered she hurled right back at my face.
finally it was over. i was dissapointed. she was smug. i felt incompetent, worthless, and completely speechless. i couldn't smile. i could barely move. and she couldn't have cared less. but i couldn't run away...i couldn't even protest.
she broke me. i let her break me.
for a while all i could see was failure.
i sat in my car and cried.
why did her words hurt me so much? why was i so easily destroyed?
sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words just broke my heart.
i feel a lot better now. i know i'm not worthless or incompetent, but i sure am weak. and maybe that's a good thing.
and i think i might understand Paul a little better now.
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor. 12:9-10
thanks, God.
love, krystal
so i had a competency today---basically, i have to perform a health assessment in front of one of my nursing teachers. this health assessment consists of a long list of steps assessing various parts of the body and dictating as well as documenting a list of normal findings.
my goal for today was, and always has been, to memorize. memorize when to say what, and what to do when. it's pretty much all my brain can handle. so i did it. in fact, i would say that i was pretty confident going into the "exam"
we picked cards. i got to go first. great. i also got the part of the examination that i thought was the most difficult. great.
but it's fine, right...cuz i know what i'm doing.
that was, until the questions started. question after question of: what are you doing? why are you doing that? what would an abnormal result be indicitave of? why don't you know the answer?
finally, i couldn't speak. i couldn't answer her questions, i couldn't move, i couldn't think of what was next. my hands trembled from fear and anger and frustration and nervousness and bitterness and sadness. my eyes moistened, but i refused to let her see my tears.
everything i said she refuted. every word i uttered she hurled right back at my face.
finally it was over. i was dissapointed. she was smug. i felt incompetent, worthless, and completely speechless. i couldn't smile. i could barely move. and she couldn't have cared less. but i couldn't run away...i couldn't even protest.
she broke me. i let her break me.
for a while all i could see was failure.
i sat in my car and cried.
why did her words hurt me so much? why was i so easily destroyed?
sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words just broke my heart.
i feel a lot better now. i know i'm not worthless or incompetent, but i sure am weak. and maybe that's a good thing.
and i think i might understand Paul a little better now.
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor. 12:9-10
thanks, God.
love, krystal
Sunday, November 16, 2008
10 things I must have when I own my own home.
1. multi-colored walls: none of this boring neutral color stuff. there will be stripes, polka dots, rainbows...ok, well, maybe not rainbows, but yea.
2. a music room: with a piano, couple of guitars, karaoke machine...sounds amazing.
3. mood lighting. i.e. white christmas lights everywhere...or at least in the kitchen.
4. a library: stocked with books of every kind. from harry potter to c.s. lewis to dean koontz. plus, a bible in every version.
5. a huge bean bag that fits at least 5 people.
6. an extensive DVD collection composed mostly of romantic comedies and tv series.
7. abstract art. because it makes no sense and yet, you can't help staring at it. or maybe that's just me?
8. every appliance from the "as seen on TV" store. then everyone would be eternally jealous.
9. a pool with a diving board and a couple of slides. and a sauna.
10. a husband.
actually...i think i could do with just the last one.
love, krystal.
1. multi-colored walls: none of this boring neutral color stuff. there will be stripes, polka dots, rainbows...ok, well, maybe not rainbows, but yea.
2. a music room: with a piano, couple of guitars, karaoke machine...sounds amazing.
3. mood lighting. i.e. white christmas lights everywhere...or at least in the kitchen.
4. a library: stocked with books of every kind. from harry potter to c.s. lewis to dean koontz. plus, a bible in every version.
5. a huge bean bag that fits at least 5 people.
6. an extensive DVD collection composed mostly of romantic comedies and tv series.
7. abstract art. because it makes no sense and yet, you can't help staring at it. or maybe that's just me?
8. every appliance from the "as seen on TV" store. then everyone would be eternally jealous.
9. a pool with a diving board and a couple of slides. and a sauna.
10. a husband.
actually...i think i could do with just the last one.
love, krystal.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
who's krystal?
i should be studying right now, but i just don't want to.
why don't i want to? i don't know. in fact, there are a lot of things about my mood at this very moment that i don't quite understand. i'm not sure if this is a girl thing or an everyone thing, or just a me thing, but sometimes i just get to this weird point where the things i'm feeling and the thoughts i'm having are completely whack. (ooo, i just looked at the clock and it's 11:11)
i feel desperation for no reason at all. i feel frustration, sadness, anger, apathy, empathy, confusion, BLAH.
and it's not like a "i hate myself, i hate the world, i want to die, i hate god" thing. it's not even close. it's just UNKNOWN. like there's this part of myself that i haven't yet discovered and it surfaces every once in a while, just to remind me that it's still there.
or maybe i've just been trying so hard and putting so much effort into my life recently that my brain and my body just decided it's done. or maybe it's just resting for a day or so.
maybe if i transcribe some parts of my internal dialogue i can figure out what's going on.
1: i don't know what to do with myself
2: you're sad
1: maybe i'll watch tv
2: you're happy
1: i'm hungry
2: you wanna dance
1: i'm tired
2: you should eat
1: i feel like crap
2: you have a test on friday
1: what's going on with my head?
2: Obama won
1: what is that?! where am i?!
2: it's late
nope. it didn't help. especially since i'm not even sure who 1 and 2 are.
whatevs. i need to study. but i don't want to.
love, krystal
why don't i want to? i don't know. in fact, there are a lot of things about my mood at this very moment that i don't quite understand. i'm not sure if this is a girl thing or an everyone thing, or just a me thing, but sometimes i just get to this weird point where the things i'm feeling and the thoughts i'm having are completely whack. (ooo, i just looked at the clock and it's 11:11)
i feel desperation for no reason at all. i feel frustration, sadness, anger, apathy, empathy, confusion, BLAH.
and it's not like a "i hate myself, i hate the world, i want to die, i hate god" thing. it's not even close. it's just UNKNOWN. like there's this part of myself that i haven't yet discovered and it surfaces every once in a while, just to remind me that it's still there.
or maybe i've just been trying so hard and putting so much effort into my life recently that my brain and my body just decided it's done. or maybe it's just resting for a day or so.
maybe if i transcribe some parts of my internal dialogue i can figure out what's going on.
1: i don't know what to do with myself
2: you're sad
1: maybe i'll watch tv
2: you're happy
1: i'm hungry
2: you wanna dance
1: i'm tired
2: you should eat
1: i feel like crap
2: you have a test on friday
1: what's going on with my head?
2: Obama won
1: what is that?! where am i?!
2: it's late
nope. it didn't help. especially since i'm not even sure who 1 and 2 are.
whatevs. i need to study. but i don't want to.
love, krystal
Thursday, October 23, 2008
today, i volunteered as an interpreter at a christian clinic.
it was really great. i met a lot of cool people and patients.
i got to follow around a male ob/gyn and translate awkward questions and statements in english into awkward questions and statements in spanish (and vice versa)
but there was one patient that really got to me today.
she was 44 yrs. old and really wanted to have a baby. right before we walked in, the doctor read the labs. she was pre menopausal. her chances for pregnancy were practically nonexistent.
she was pretty. she sat in the tiny room, clutching her bag, waiting for an answer to her question. and then we told her.
it was quiet for a couple of seconds. her eyes were moist, but she refused to let a tear drop.
we kept talking for a while. discussing medical stuff, ignoring the pain.
she was hurting. but she had this peace. as much as the doctor repeated that her chances were low, she kept saying that God was in control. that He would do what He wanted.
i talked to her for a little while without the doctor in the room. her husband was her first love, she said. she'd waited for him. 40 years. she called him her "principe azul", saying that God had brought him to her.
and i looked at her, wanting to cry. then we prayed.
40 years.
love, krystal
it was really great. i met a lot of cool people and patients.
i got to follow around a male ob/gyn and translate awkward questions and statements in english into awkward questions and statements in spanish (and vice versa)
but there was one patient that really got to me today.
she was 44 yrs. old and really wanted to have a baby. right before we walked in, the doctor read the labs. she was pre menopausal. her chances for pregnancy were practically nonexistent.
she was pretty. she sat in the tiny room, clutching her bag, waiting for an answer to her question. and then we told her.
it was quiet for a couple of seconds. her eyes were moist, but she refused to let a tear drop.
we kept talking for a while. discussing medical stuff, ignoring the pain.
she was hurting. but she had this peace. as much as the doctor repeated that her chances were low, she kept saying that God was in control. that He would do what He wanted.
i talked to her for a little while without the doctor in the room. her husband was her first love, she said. she'd waited for him. 40 years. she called him her "principe azul", saying that God had brought him to her.
and i looked at her, wanting to cry. then we prayed.
40 years.
love, krystal
Monday, October 20, 2008
things you don't know about me
ten things you probably don't know about me (in no particular order):
1. i hate blue ink. it messes up the organization and color scheme of just about every handout. black goes with everything...not blue. go away, blue pens.
2. i bite my nails. but not to the point where my nails are too short for my fingers. that actually freaks me out.
3. i like facial hair. on guys anyway. not too long though...in fact, not long at all. although...if you can't pull it off, don't bother.
4. i'm super indecisive. especially when it comes to shopping. i can spend a good hour and a half at the grocery store-- no sweat.
5. i LOVE keychains. i really don't know why. they're like little memories just jingling around with you everywhere you go.
6. i sleep on one side of the bed. i've shared a bed with my sister all my life, and even now that i have my own full-sized bed, i sleep on the right and i wake up in the same exact spot. i can't seem to bring myself to expand my horizons.
7. my first son's name will be malachi. (i understand there are a lot of things that have to happen before i make this decision...but if the time ever comes, i will not accept any other name option.)
8. broccoli is my favorite vegetable in the world. just ask my roommates.
9. i think spending money is overrated. why spend money if there are a million things you could do for free? or at least for cheap.
10. i like to talk to god outloud. it feels more like a real conversation...since that's actually what it is.
love, krystal.
1. i hate blue ink. it messes up the organization and color scheme of just about every handout. black goes with everything...not blue. go away, blue pens.
2. i bite my nails. but not to the point where my nails are too short for my fingers. that actually freaks me out.
3. i like facial hair. on guys anyway. not too long though...in fact, not long at all. although...if you can't pull it off, don't bother.
4. i'm super indecisive. especially when it comes to shopping. i can spend a good hour and a half at the grocery store-- no sweat.
5. i LOVE keychains. i really don't know why. they're like little memories just jingling around with you everywhere you go.
6. i sleep on one side of the bed. i've shared a bed with my sister all my life, and even now that i have my own full-sized bed, i sleep on the right and i wake up in the same exact spot. i can't seem to bring myself to expand my horizons.
7. my first son's name will be malachi. (i understand there are a lot of things that have to happen before i make this decision...but if the time ever comes, i will not accept any other name option.)
8. broccoli is my favorite vegetable in the world. just ask my roommates.
9. i think spending money is overrated. why spend money if there are a million things you could do for free? or at least for cheap.
10. i like to talk to god outloud. it feels more like a real conversation...since that's actually what it is.
love, krystal.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
5 jobs i would like if nursing was not an option:
1. Judge Judy's security guard...or whoever that guy is who always stands next to her... that guy has the easiest job ever. all he does is hand judy stuff and escort people out if judy says, and he's the only one who's safe from judy's nasty attitude. and he must make a lot of money---not that that's a huge factor, but, come on...the guy does NOTHING.
2. the person who organizes all the food in rachel ray's kitchen before she starts cooking. i bet i would get first dibs on all the food she makes during her show. and, i'd have SO much power.
3. a reader for audiobooks. i would get paid to read books out loud. and prolly a majority of the books will be quite good because there's expected demand for the book to be on tape/cd. plus, i will be responsible for determining what each character sounds like for all the millions of people who will inevitably decide to listen to me. again, power. apparently i love power. interesting.
4. the owner of a high end pet shop. because i think it's ridiculous when people buy extravagant items for a creature who doesn't clean itself after emptying their bowels. and i love to laugh. i'm sure i would have fun testing to see how far and insane people will go for their pets. would you buy doggy stilettos? i hope, for the sake of our friendship, that you wouldn't. however, if maybe we are not friends...you go ahead and buy those stilettos. i hope it's worth it.
5. housekeeping for crappy hotels in the ghetto. this is the job that i would least like in the world. (well, as far as i can imagine at this moment in time). if i ever come across a person with this particular job, first of all, i would give them a hug. (unless, of course, they were on the job...then i wouldn't touch them with a hundred foot pole). second, i would do all i could to extract as many crazy stories as i could. making sure to remain sensitive, of course. third of all, i would hand them a box of gloves and hand sanitizer, cuz i'm sure they could never have enough of those. lastly, i would cry.
love, krystal.
1. Judge Judy's security guard...or whoever that guy is who always stands next to her... that guy has the easiest job ever. all he does is hand judy stuff and escort people out if judy says, and he's the only one who's safe from judy's nasty attitude. and he must make a lot of money---not that that's a huge factor, but, come on...the guy does NOTHING.
2. the person who organizes all the food in rachel ray's kitchen before she starts cooking. i bet i would get first dibs on all the food she makes during her show. and, i'd have SO much power.
3. a reader for audiobooks. i would get paid to read books out loud. and prolly a majority of the books will be quite good because there's expected demand for the book to be on tape/cd. plus, i will be responsible for determining what each character sounds like for all the millions of people who will inevitably decide to listen to me. again, power. apparently i love power. interesting.
4. the owner of a high end pet shop. because i think it's ridiculous when people buy extravagant items for a creature who doesn't clean itself after emptying their bowels. and i love to laugh. i'm sure i would have fun testing to see how far and insane people will go for their pets. would you buy doggy stilettos? i hope, for the sake of our friendship, that you wouldn't. however, if maybe we are not friends...you go ahead and buy those stilettos. i hope it's worth it.
5. housekeeping for crappy hotels in the ghetto. this is the job that i would least like in the world. (well, as far as i can imagine at this moment in time). if i ever come across a person with this particular job, first of all, i would give them a hug. (unless, of course, they were on the job...then i wouldn't touch them with a hundred foot pole). second, i would do all i could to extract as many crazy stories as i could. making sure to remain sensitive, of course. third of all, i would hand them a box of gloves and hand sanitizer, cuz i'm sure they could never have enough of those. lastly, i would cry.
love, krystal.
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