my brother called me for help on his algebra homework last night.
and i really wanted to be there with him...and for him to call me before he realized he might have to retake the class...
if i could ever legitimately feel guilty about being out-of-state...last night would have been one of those moments.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
i'm so frustrated. and then i get upset for letting myself feel frustrated. it's a horrible cycle and not one that i can easily control.
anyway. i've been thinking a lot lately and journaling a lot and praying a lot. it's been good, for the most part, and i feel really comfortable just sitting with myself and God, talking over stuff and figuring things out in my head. but i also greatly appreciate the people in my life that i can talk about crazy krystal thoughts with. one of these people is my sister.
if you had known me any time before this year, you would be surprised to hear me say that. let's just say me and my sister were not exactly the best of friends for most of our lives. you'd be less surprised to hear me complain about how she would never talk to me, or ask for prayer or patience with her.
today, however, i can praise God for giving me such an amazing sister. it's such a blessing and a relief to have someone in your family that you can entrust your thoughts and emotions and feelings to...and she would agree when i say that in our family, we never really had that. And the best thing is, it's all God.
When i look at how far my sister and i have come even in the last couple of months, there's no one i can blame but God. (and blame is the wrong word, but you know what i mean).
So i thank God for my sister. and i can see now how all the difficult and frustrating and horrible experiences with her in our past has made this time so much sweeter and given God so much more glory.
i love you, max! sorry if this is embarrassing. <3