Monday, February 14, 2011

take care.

take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. but exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
hebrews 3:12-13

good word.

Love, krystal.

san valentin no le atino con su disparo

yesterday was terrible.
nausea must be from the devil.
spent all day hunched over a trash can while my body decided it wanted to empty me of everything it had.
and i was really looking forward to yesterday.
now it's tomorrow.

happy valentine's day.

Love, krystal.

Saturday, February 5, 2011


a list of things i can see from where i'm sitting at work:
1. empty large smartwater container. probably the reason i've gone to the bathroom already 3 times
so far and am getting the feeling i need to go again.
2. sea island cotton lotion, courtesy of bath & body works. very necessary when you have to wash your
hands every 5 minutes. with alcohol.
3. medical charts. containing all the information you never thought you'd have to share with an
entire floor of nurses and doctors.
4. my stethescope. shining as bright as ever in its neon yellow color.
5. my phone. sadly receiving no calls or texts seeing as everyone who has my number is currently
6. some ambien. for the patients who love me so much, they can't sleep knowing i'm still awake.
(for those of you who don't know, ambien is for sleep)
7. my hands. though i can't tell by just looking, i can feel the lack of heat. there is no way it is 85
degrees in here. stupid thermostat.
8. a blanket. which was once warm and toasty straight from our blanket warmer, but has long
since lost its glory and now lies abandoned on the chair next to me.
9. a red pen. used to sign my lovely name followed by the glorious abbreviation: RN.
10. my notes. covered in all the information i need to process and apply as i take care of my
patients. some more difficult than others.

i tell you this, not because you care, but because i obviously have nothing better to do. it's a quiet night
after a long string of not so quiet nights. it's refreshing and i'm definitely not complaining, but what
better thing to do with my time than share my thoughts with the world? it's fortunate, perhaps, that
the world in this sense of the word is not the world at all, but only just the few who frequent this page
at least once in a blue moon. let me just take this time to thank you for your continued support. whomever
you may be. is it whomever or whoever?

i would like to thank you furthermore with another list.

a list of reasons you should continue to read my blog:
1. it makes me feel good.
2. it makes you feel something. whether it be apathy, annoyance, amusement, or anger.
3. i just now nonchalantly made a list of emotions all starting with the letter "a" without even trying.
4. i also just used the word "nonchalantly" for the first time in my life: just for you. <3
5. you have nothing better to do. <-- it may sound as if i am minimizing the importance of your life,
but what i really mean by this statement is: it gives you something to do if and ONLY if you have nothing
better to do.
6. thinking of you, reading my blog, it lights up my thoughts! (this may sound a lot like the first with it)
7. you can learn from my mistakes. i can't really pinpoint any at the moment, but i'm sure i've made plenty of
them---just read my blog!
8. i will eventually get better at list-making.
9. if i ever get famous, i will personally thank you for sticking with it.
10. i love you. what more do you want from me?

Love, krystal.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

does the shadow mean no more winter?

today is groundhog day. aka nino's birthday.
happy 16th, mon frere.

random day. a lot of driving. not my favorite but such is life.

sitting in the hallway trying to decide when to break the news to my lovely roommate that she's sleeping in the wrong bed. not only the wrong bed, but my bed.
can't go downstairs cuz it's occupied.
desperately hungry but it's too late to eat. that's what happens when you take naps in the evening and miss dinner.
it's probably the reason i'm not in a hurry to claim my bed...i just woke up from a fabulous nap a few hours ago.

rent is due. i should get on that.

taxes for the first time in my life. intimidating is the word that comes to mind. i need to find a tax friend. aka a friend who really likes doing taxes...or just a friend who knows how to do them and really likes me.
i'm instinctively wary of tax people. aka people who get paid to do taxes and work for big tax companies. maybe i'm just greedy.

nostalgia is not something i dwell in much. i tend to focus on the present. however, i'm feeling a little bit nostalgic. maybe it's the taxes thing.

been reading some books from the library. completely random ones i grabbed from the same section of the fiction bookshelves. consequently, all the authors' names start with a K. i have now started the 3rd book. i'm about a third through the first one and about 2 short stories into the second. i must say i'm not a huge fan of short stories. i think that for the most part they try too hard to be noticed. probably cuz they're not long enough to give themselves time, so they throw everything into a handful of pages and then you're stuck trying to interpret a book's worth of ideas and ramblings that have been not so cohesively jammed into 10 pages. not fun.
unless you're into that sort of thing i guess. but then we're probably not friends.

the father is pushing the 401K thing. i still don't know what it is.

i have this urge for jack in the box tacos. haven't had those in a while. for a reason, of course...they're doused in grease. but they're delicious. i can't help the craving. mighty inconvenient though.

mighty inconvenient is a funny choice of words. i don't know how i came up with that one. i must be a genius of some kind.

or i may just have read 1 too many short stories.

Love, krystal.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

he walks into the room...

and for some reason i can't shake the feeling. the feeling that, in his eyes, i'm less than i should be. the feeling when he looks at me that his greatest desire is for my healing; for me to become what he wishes so much i could be. he is over-eager. his extroverted sentiments toward me are a hyperbole, nothing close to the truth. his feigned interest in who i am only barely covering up his secret agenda. only barely hiding the regret-ridden past.
but i see through his facade. i sense his falsehood and it makes me cringe.
am i the only one? can everyone else be blind to it?


an over-exaggerated fiction/non-fiction.

Love, krystal.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

la sagesse

wow. it's been a month since my last post: sad.
sorry for the long break, moving right along...

James 3:

the tongue:
a fire
a world of unrighteousness
staining the whole body
setting on fire the entire course of life
set on fire by hell
not able to be tamed by man
a restless evil
full of deadly poison

james says that the tongue is an incredible weapon, and that no one hides from its power: "if anyone does not stumble in what he says he is a perfect man"
assuming that no man is perfect (and by assuming, i actually mean knowing) i can safely say that i am not alone in the frustration that comes when i look back and recognize the terrible effect that my tongue has had, not only on my own life, but on the life of those around me. even more on the lives of those closest to me. it's a constant battle between my flesh and my spirit, my own sinful desires "enticing" me to have the last word or to make my point clearly or to be understood. my desire to feel accepted and seen for what i want to portray. it's a deadly trap.

but is the tongue, so powerful to destroy, able also to bring life of sorts? can we not, with this same weapon, bring peace and harmony....whether by withholding words or by using them in love? and yet it seems a much more difficult thing to do. how much easier is it to say whatever comes to mind than to think carefully and wisely and intentionally lift others up? such conduct is a witness to sanctification. which leads to the rest of the chapter...

"who is wise and understanding among you? by his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom"
these are the words james chooses to define one with wisdom and the definitions i've personally assigned to them:
pure: not stained by SELF
peacable: desiring peace; creating harmony
gentle: aware of anothers' comfort; compassionate
open to reason: not bound to SELF
full of mercy and good fruits: having no room for bitterness; pouring out of selfLESSness
impartial: non-judgmental
sincere: without a false projection of oneself

in other words, having wisdom means that we let ourselves go for the sake of the glory and holiness of God.

Love, krystal