Tuesday, September 14, 2010

the sound of flowing water

for the record...i hate urine tests.
and i will forever have flashbacks of the tiny little "holding room" for those who can't pee into a cup on the first try. a.k.a. me.

Love, krystal.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

lonelyyy, i'm so lonelyyy...

did you ever wish you had all the time in the world? a free schedule not bogged down by pressing responsibilities and due dates?
it's terrible.
is it more terrible than being stressed and burdened out of your mind? perhaps not. but i must say both ends of the spectrum have the potential to drive a person insane. and i might just be toeing the line.
i feel like a dog who has suddenly lost a significant amount of control of his hind legs and whose existence now consists of nap after rest after nap. ironically, such a dog is currently in the nap stage of his life at my side. (though maybe not so ironically, because the fact that he is there is probably what led me to draw the comparison).
however, i can safely say that i have not yet reached the point of total uselessness...as is obvious by the fact that i am currently writing an entry for my blog. though one might contest that producing an entry for a blog that is only read by about 15 people (at the very most), is not necessarily useful. to which i would reply: really? can't i at least have this?
and so, to further prove that my existence really does matter, i will now make a very useful list of songs i absolutely love:
fly me to the moon.
hmm. well, that's all i have. i just listened to it on Pandora, so it was fresh in my mind. although i doubt that any of you are actually interested in reading a list of songs that i like. or that such a list is as useful as i implied.
take a bow (by leona lewis). that's another one.
i saw a documentary about dreams today. it was pretty interesting...at least the part that i paid attention to was. apparently, a human goes into a type of paralytic state when they're in the REM cycle--completely unable to move any muscle. which is incredibly handy because they did an experiment where they took away the part of the brain that commands the body into a paralytic state in cats, and they had footage of cats chasing mice and attacking things in their sleep. and they found some people that have some disorder where the paralysis never kicks in--these people wake up to find their room a mess, with lamps and tables knocked over, cuz they act out their dreams in their sleep. crazy.
so it's just me and Fes at the moment. (who, in case you didn't get the reference earlier, is basically bedbound after losing the feeling in his hind legs for a couple of days and learning now to hobble around with the little feeling that he seems to be regaining). the dog never was a very active pet, but now he seems to have lost the will to move. although i'm not sure he's too disappointed. consequently, however, i'm not sure how he feels about me. (though, considering the circumstances, that's probably not the most crucial dilemma at the moment). he used to hop onto the couch with me whenever i was around, but now he can't hop at all, and i can't really read his expressions. we'll have to make do with the remnants of the relationship that remain. i should let him go outside for a bit.

Love, krystal.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

jigga what?!

God gave me a job today!
i start on the 27th of this month.
it's 12 weeks of full-time on-the-floor/in-the-classroom training which will transition into a full-load nursing position on the med/surg/telemetry floor.
it's at maryvale hospital in phoenix (slightly ghetto, but all that means is that i get to be around my peeps a lot more than most :))
i'm so excited! Praise God.
i'll actually be able to pay rent out of my own pocket now!
and i get to be a nurse!

Love, krystal.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

are you there, God? it's me...

please resist the urge to assume, because of the title of my post, that i doubt that God is listening to me...it was merely for the fun of quoting one of my favorite pre-teenage-hood books that i'm letting it slide :)

anyway. lots of things have been happening lately. though if you took a look at my incredibly unbusy schedule, you'd probably have trouble believing it. but lately i've been talking to God and journaling in massive amounts,which is definitely NOT a bad thing, but serves as an indication of the turmoil of my spirit and heart and mind and everything my body involves. although turmoil may not be the right word.
it feels like every minute there's an emotion or a thought or a conviction that i just have to bring to God. nothing in my life is stable. and yet, i feel a sense of peace.
i don't know where i will be a week from now, let alone a month from now, and i have thoughts that battle back and forth--wanting to appease my father, not wanting to disappoint anyone (including myself), wanting to make wise decisions, but fearing that i won't. and when i turn once again to my God, i hear Him say "I am the Lord". and who can say otherwise? not me.
today was an especially turmoil-filled day. a phone-call from my dad, another one from my mom, a chat with a friend, a discouraging internet search, and a lot of time to think about it all.
but i rest in the comfort that, first of all, God is God, and second of all, He doesn't grow tired of listening. and i continue to pray that He would do what He wants, and that i would rest in joy.

Love, krystal.

Ezekiel 34:25-31
“I will make with them a covenant of peace and banish wild beasts from the land, so that they may dwell securely in the wilderness and sleep in the woods. 26 And I will make them and the places all around my hill a blessing, and I will send down the showers in their season; they shall be showers of blessing. 27 And the trees of the field shall yield their fruit, and the earth shall yield its increase, and they shall be secure in their land. And they shall know that I am the Lord, when I break the bars of their yoke, and deliver them from the hand of those who enslaved them. 28 They shall no more be a prey to the nations, nor shall the beasts of the land devour them. They shall dwell securely, and none shall make them afraid. 29 And I will provide for them renowned plantations so that they shall no more be consumed with hunger in the land, and no longer suffer the reproach of the nations. 30 And they shall know that I am the Lord their God with them, and that they, the house of Israel, are my people, declares the Lord God. 31 And you are my sheep, human sheep of my pasture, and I am your God, declares the Lord God.”