it's me! kind of.

i've taken enough tests and experienced enough of my life to be sure that i am an introvert. wikipedia defines introversion as "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life".
that sounds really self-centered, so here's a couple of other tidbits to help define it better: "They often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, drawing, and using computers", "They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate", and "They are more analytical before speaking".
there, that's better. and very true about me.

however, that does not mean that i like being alone at home for hours on end. i'd much rather do my homework and study and read and do solitary activities with someone else around. at least then i can concentrate on myself without actually being by myself.

anyway. that was all i came here to say. because, surprise!, i'm at home. alone. and have been for the last several hours.

however, as long as i have your attention (whoever you are), i'll also take this time to talk a little about that myers briggs formula thing.
i know there are a lot of people who don't like to talk about it, and think it's stupid and say "i refuse to be defined by a formula". if that is you, i respect you.
i like it though. and i know that it's not an exact calculation--we all have individual characteristics and reactions and beliefs and experiences that make us into different people. however, i do feel that it has really been a good thing to look at, especially when dealing with people who i don't completely understand. and even when dealing with myself. it's a rough draft--a framework, perhaps. but i think it helps.

on that note, i am an ISFJ. an introverterted-sensing-feeling-judger. which actually makes no sense if you don't know what those words are supposed to mean.

the first: introvert, i have already defined. (the opposite of I is E, for extrovert)

the second: senser. the word in itself, i feel, does not do much to help with understanding the concept. a random website that i found says this: "S and N stand for Sensing and Intuition—indicating whether you become aware of specific facts and concrete details or prefer to focus on hunches and the big picture." i like the details. give me a vague paper topic or idea, and i will want to throw something at you; because when i work on things, i focus on the details, and if you don't give me a very specific definition, i will spend the rest of the night trying to figure out what the heck you want. it's very frustrating. it also means that i don't really have much of an imagination. the saying is that sensers see the trees and intuiters see the forest. something about a 6th sense vs the original 5 senses. crazy, i know. :)

the third: feeler. this one actually is pretty self-explanatory. the opposite of this is T for thinker. basically, my actions are very much influenced by how i feel, vs what i think might be a more logical answer. i must say, however, that i can be both. and just cuz i feel that the sun should shine everyday, doesn't mean i should leave my umbrella at home when the forecast says there's gonna be a storm. however, i have a lot of empathy and i feel for people a lot (which makes being a nurse very difficult at times). the popular question to ask is "if you were the coach of a basketball team, and only had 5 seats to fill; would you take the 5 on your team who showed the most effort and most wanted to go, OR the top 5 players?" i would definitely pick the short little guy who can't dribble a ball to save his life if i felt he wanted to be there more than the best player on the team. but that's cuz i'm a feeler.

the fourth, and last: judger. the opposite of which is P for perceiver. "indicating whether you prefer your life to be planned and like it when things are decided or prefer to go with the flow and like keeping your options open." yea. definitely a judger. i'm a fan of schedules, timeliness, knowing what's up ahead. spontaneity is NOT my middle name. i don't actually have a middle name, but that's beside the point. and though i hate making decisions, i hate it even more when i have a decision hanging over my head. i just want to know what i'm doing and when. leave the options to that perceiver over there.

that's pretty much it.
of course, these are not hard, fast rules. though i am an introvert, i can have times when i just really want to hang out with everyone in the world at the same time. and though i'm typically a senser, i might have a random and big-picture idea sometime. i'm honestly about 60% feeler and 40% thinker. and though i'd like knowing what i'm going to being doing around 5pm next thursday, there's always room for spontaneity...and i really enjoy being around people who bring that out in me.
just not all the time.
haha. just kidding, my extrovert, intuiter, thinker and perceiver friends. i still love you.

Love, krystal.

p.s. sorry the post is so long. i just noticed. :/

my crazy body (i know, it sounds like a funny title...but bear with me here)

i have cuts, burns(okay, maybe just one small burn), and bruises all over my body. and sometimes i notice them and can't for the life of me figure out where they came from.
i do, however, have a few theories...

1. kim inoshita. enough said.
2. sleepwalking. although i highly doubt it, it is very possible that i am just a very clumsy sleepwalker. i've never woken up somewhere that i didn't recognize, and to be honest, i usually wake up in the same sleeping position that i fell asleep in, but for all i know, i have an alter ego, and she doesn't seem to realize that solid objects aren't meant to be walked into.
3. the theory that i most believe in is this one: i am a very sensitive soul, though you may not believe it, and my feelings get hurt somewhat often (although not in an unhealthy way, i don't think)...anyway. i think my body might have learned to show my emotional hurt in physical ways. you say something about me that hurts my feelings...BOOM. a new bruise on the knee. i think you might not appreciate something i've done for you...BAM. a papercut-like wound on my hand. i think i'm really going somewhere with this idea.
4. of course, the most "obvious" theory would be that the bruise on my knee was actually caused when i hit my leg on a counter; or that the papercut on my hand was in fact created while i reorganized the papers in my folder. but i don't know. it seems too easy for me to believe. and you know the most "obvious" answer is not usually the correct one. right?

Love, krystal.