5 jobs i would like if nursing was not an option:

1. Judge Judy's security guard...or whoever that guy is who always stands next to her... that guy has the easiest job ever. all he does is hand judy stuff and escort people out if judy says, and he's the only one who's safe from judy's nasty attitude. and he must make a lot of money---not that that's a huge factor, but, come on...the guy does NOTHING.

2. the person who organizes all the food in rachel ray's kitchen before she starts cooking. i bet i would get first dibs on all the food she makes during her show. and, i'd have SO much power.

3. a reader for audiobooks. i would get paid to read books out loud. and prolly a majority of the books will be quite good because there's expected demand for the book to be on tape/cd. plus, i will be responsible for determining what each character sounds like for all the millions of people who will inevitably decide to listen to me. again, power. apparently i love power. interesting.

4. the owner of a high end pet shop. because i think it's ridiculous when people buy extravagant items for a creature who doesn't clean itself after emptying their bowels. and i love to laugh. i'm sure i would have fun testing to see how far and insane people will go for their pets. would you buy doggy stilettos? i hope, for the sake of our friendship, that you wouldn't. however, if maybe we are not friends...you go ahead and buy those stilettos. i hope it's worth it.

5. housekeeping for crappy hotels in the ghetto. this is the job that i would least like in the world. (well, as far as i can imagine at this moment in time). if i ever come across a person with this particular job, first of all, i would give them a hug. (unless, of course, they were on the job...then i wouldn't touch them with a hundred foot pole). second, i would do all i could to extract as many crazy stories as i could. making sure to remain sensitive, of course. third of all, i would hand them a box of gloves and hand sanitizer, cuz i'm sure they could never have enough of those. lastly, i would cry.

love, krystal.