i went to the theaters today. by myself.
now don't go getting all sad on me...that's the way i planned it.
it was the first time i had ever considered the possibility. all my life i thought the movies were a group activity, that they didn't allow single people in. (not single as in without a significant other, single as in party of one)
but i was wrong.
i got to the theaters and "bought" my ticket. (thanks, j-ra) it was a little nerve-racking, and i admit that that was the most awkward and uncomfortable moment of the night. but it was all downhill from there.
i walk into a practically empty room and go up to my favorite seat of the house: the last row, right in the middle.
i was there only 5 minutes early, but i still had to sit through some of the pre-movie crap. it was strange, just being with myself. but soothing, in a way. just me and my thoughts. which, at the moment, consisted of "ugh, i hate this crap".
at some point, a group of three little girls and their guardian came up to where i was, not having seen me until they were in my row. then they kinda sighed, because i was sitting exactly where they were planning to go. i felt bad for about a second, but then i got over it. you snooze, you lose, right?
the previews came on and i just sat back and enjoyed the show. it was the opposite of work. i knew exactly what i was thinking, and i didn't have to say a word. i laughed when i wanted, stayed silent when i wanted, moved around in my seat when i wanted. it was liberating.
the movie ended and i drove home. on my drive home i remember my mind being as close to blank as it could ever get. i heard the music and saw the traffic, but my thoughts were just chillin'.
i spent about 2 hours today completely alone. and it was great.
but at the same time, it opened my eyes to how much God has blessed my life through friends.
there was a time in my life when it was a miracle that i was not alone. alone was really all i knew and all i expected. where today, a couple of hours by myself seems strange, before, a good time with friends was once in a lifetime.
i don't say this to ask for pity, and i don't think that i deserve it anyway. God put me where i was for a reason, and i can see clearly now that that time in my life was preparing me for the rest of it.
so, to sum it all up, and by "it" i mean my entire life and being, God is good.