horror film

ugh.
sometimes i can't stand myself. i feel like i'm watching myself on a movie screen and i'm screaming "stop!", "don't go there!", "don't do that!", "don't think that!", "don't say that!", but nothing happens. it's times like these when i understand completely what paul is saying in romans 7:

14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

and i have to remind myself of the depravity of my own flesh. the imperfection that remains in me as long as i am bound to my body. and as disgusting as this is to me, it can only further magnify the grace of my God. a God who, knowing that I have NOTHING good within me, chose to save me anyway. who does that? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Love, krystal